Session 11: Overcoming Unwanted Behaviors
You decide you want to improve your body and live a healthier lifestyle. You map out a nutritional strategy, design your own workout schedule and you embark on the journey to a leaner, more toned physique…and it starts working! But the minute you begin getting results, you fall off the wagon. You binge, you skip workouts, you cheat. What’s most perplexing (and upsetting) is that you know what you should do… but no matter how hard you try, you can’t get yourself to do it! It’s as if some unseen force is sabotaging you and controlling your behavior like you were a puppet on a string.
You are actually blocking your own success with feelings of being overwhelmed as you get closer to your goal. You allow yourself to become dominated by these unproductive feelings and your state of mind affects your actions. You’re not able to accept the feelings of joy and power associated with your accomplishments. Denying feelings of accomplishment and success, results in producing highly ineffective and self-sabotaging behaviors. The behaviors are self-sabotaging because you’re responding opposite to what is required to reach your goals. Fear of success occurs because negative self-talk and negative messages from others still dominate your beliefs and attitude. What is your chance of success or advancement if you allow others to affect your thoughts and behavior?
Realize that your effort in eliminating negative self-talk and negative beliefs from others is aimed at improving your self-confidence. Developing your inner resources, your self-esteem and self-respect, will motivate you to accept feelings of success on a continual basis.
- Bravely overcoming discouraging feelings about yourself by eliminating self-defeating words from your vocabulary is one way to overcome fear of success.
- Another way is to disregard self-defeating statements from others.
- Success is achieved by continually expressing positive self-talk directed toward developing your enthusiasm, self-esteem, and vitality. “I can do it,” “Great job,” and “Well done” are expressions of your vitality, influencing the course of your life.
Changing your way of thinking about success activates your courage to solve problems and achieve goals. Instead of letting your problems get the better of you, take control and energize your courage by saying, “I am determined to reach my goals,” and “My self- confidence and self-respect are so strong that I will move forward in life.” These courageous affirmations will enable you to master and take control of your emotional, mental, and physical qualities to create passion in your life.
Your commitment to eliminate fear of success, and change your thoughts and actions, is a personal choice. Although internal, negative self-talk and discouraging words from others seem to surround you, focus your thoughts and actions in positive, productive ways.
When you experience rough times, discouraging words from others or negative self-talk, don’t let yourself get down. Face the challenge and keep moving forward. Believe in yourself and use encouraging self-talk to help you become enthusiastic about changing your behavior and attitude.
3 ways to overcome fear of success:
1.
Continually tell yourself that you welcome challenges. Stand ready and willing to challenge yourself to your maximum capacity. Move forward in your communication by deleting all negative self-talk.
Continually tell yourself that you welcome challenges. Stand ready and willing to challenge yourself to your maximum capacity. Move forward in your communication by deleting all negative self-talk. 2.Believe that whatever you set out to accomplish, you will give it 100%. Stop providing excuses to blame yourself, becoming disempowered from achieving your goals and increasing your self-esteem. Believe that your “pride of accomplishment” motivates you to eliminate all the “should’s,” “ought’s,” and “must’s,” from your vocabulary.
Believe that whatever you set out to accomplish, you will give it 100%. Stop providing excuses to blame yourself, becoming disempowered from achieving your goals and increasing your self-esteem. Believe that your “pride of accomplishment” motivates you to eliminate all the “should’s,” “ought’s,” and “must’s,” from your vocabulary. 3.Be the best you can. Continually “see” yourself in an evolving way. Stretch every mental, emotional, and physical fiber within you. Believe and feel that you are one dynamite, ecstatic, and powerful person. Remember, your beliefs impact the way you feel and act.
Be the best you can. Continually “see” yourself in an evolving way. Stretch every mental, emotional, and physical fiber within you. Believe and feel that you are one dynamite, ecstatic, and powerful person. Remember, your beliefs impact the way you feel and act.When we consider actually moving toward our heart’s desire, a part of us automatically looks ahead to the possible consequences - especially the negative ones. Our “comfort zone” glooms onto these negative consequences. The comfort zone argues it’s the actions that will bring on the negative consequences.
You have the choice to control negativity and self-sabotaging behavior by creating positive beliefs and envisioning positive outcomes. Try a strategy called “thought stopping”. You can use this to change the direction when you find yourself slipping into a negative thought pattern. Say to yourself, with a loud and firm inner voice: STOP! Once you’ve done this, it’s important to replace your previous thought with a more positive statement and image. Clearly acknowledge which statements cause you to feel pain or threat, and which statements allow you to feel success, joy and happiness.
When people unnecessarily stress themselves by thinking that they have no control over a controllable situation, they need to use their inner voice to shout out the word “STOP.” Then, change track and think about how the situation can be redirected.
When you attach specific positive words to positive feelings and experiences, you can recall positive feelings at will by using those words. Try to apply a positive affirmation for yourself. Use a positive statement; attach it to feelings of success, joy, and happiness by making the effort to FEEL these emotions. For example, “When I challenge and encourage myself, I consistently move toward my goals with a success attitude, ‘I Can I Will.’ ”
Recite the statement to yourself several times. Each time, experience the positive feelings the statement generates. When you anchor positive words or statements to positive feelings, you can recall the positive feeling anytime you desire and create more positive outcomes, consistently.
Challenge yourself. Stop your self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors. Practicing thought stopping on a continual basis allows you to eliminate negative thoughts to become more aware of your feelings of accomplishment, self-acceptance, and of positive choice and change. Your new, bright thoughts and feelings of pleasure, joy and happiness drive you toward your destination of success. Positive feelings and beliefs increase your self-worth and self-esteem, empowering you to take action.
Simple Steps, Big Results
- Don’t sabotage your best efforts to be fit with negative self talk/behaviors
- Take responsibility for your thoughts, health and life
- Focus on simple, daily steps to reach your goals
These three strategies are the solution to every self-sabotaging habit that interferes with your goals to look and feel your very best. We are often our own worst enemies, declaring that we want to lose weight, eat better, or have more energy, and all the while continuing to eat foods that work against our efforts, manufacturing excuses for why we don’t have time to exercise, or blame others for our eating habits, all of which divert us from reaching our goals.
What you need to realize is that healthy and fit living doesn’t take a total life overhaul. It requires a change in your priorities. We are all living reflections of our priorities. Very simply, when health is a priority, we eat well and exercise. We will adopt lifelong healthy eating habits if losing weight and maintaining the loss means enough to us.
You have progressed through a course that has guided you thus far. Therefore it is safe to say that you want good health or a more trim and fit body to be your priority. But the big question is…Have you MADE it priority?
No matter what you say is important to you, it’s where you direct your attention, spend your time and put your effort that speaks the loudest about what is most essential to you in your life.
Knowledge Tester
Identify the “self-sabotaging” fear of success in your life
- What do I think will happen if I achieve the results I desrie?
- What would successful results look like?
- In what ways do I feel undeserving of successful results?
- Who am I afraid of hurting or intimidating if I achieve success?
- What do I think is lacking to keep me from sustaining successful results?
- Have I ever put myself down for achieving success in this area?
After looking at the negative consequences of the fear of success, identify the beliefs that lead you to this fear. Next, refute them if they are irrational, and replace them with rational beliefs. If your beliefs are negative self-talk, replace them with positive self-talk.
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James Cipriani
Cutting Edge Personal Training
